Recent observations about my own process of making art.

I took 3+ years off from painting icons, not because I wanted to, but because my soul required it. I was in the process of an ugly divorce which was very disruptive to my spiritual well being and I came to a point where I could no longer paint icons, even if I had a large commission which had already been paid for. It was not that I did not want to paint. I could not paint.

I have shared this story with a few of my close friends over the past day and everyone thought it was wonderful, so I figured that I would share it with a larger audience. The commission was for 4 icons and had been paid for in full back in 2015. Two of the icons were half completed, the other two had not yet been started and the client and I had not yet discussed who the icons would be of. I finished and shipped the first two icons on Monday and promised the client that I would begin the drawing of the second two icons soon. I decided to do the drawings in a coffee shop yesterday while waiting for my car to be detailed. After the coffee was done I was still thirsty, but already had a bit of the jitters because the coffee was strong and I had an empty stomach. About 2 hours into being there went to get a soda to drink (yes, I have cut most pop out of my diet, but i still allow myself one every now and then). The manager asked me if I was an iconographer and I told him that I had been doing it for 23 years but had not done any new ones in 3 years. I told him that I had a bit of a hard time getting myself to draw the 2 new icon patterns and thus used a tool which Rock Star Billy Joel discussed one time in an interview. Billy said that if he ever found himself in a writes block that he would get dressed up, go to a restaurant with his writing pad and sit there and play a mental game with himself. Billy said he would say to himself “the people see you sitting here and think that you must be a writer, so you might as well write something.” He said that he would just start writing and that even if the first things he wrote were junk, eventually something good would come out. I explained to the manager that I figured the technique would work for me, which it clearly did. Both icons were drawn from scratch in under 3 hours time, and with minimal effort. I did not notice that the manager had noticed me drawing the icon patterns! After I got done discussing this with the manager, he THANKED ME for coming in to his shop to do my work because in his view my working there added to the quality of the coffee shop! He shared with me about other artists who sometimes frequent his shop and bring their art with them and told me he was happy that I felt comfortable working there.

This was an extremely valuable experience for me as an artist! What it taught me was that even though most of the time I feel as if no one can see or notice my work (no matter how untrue that might be), that people do actually see and notice my work and they are blessed by my work! Here I was thankful for being allowed to sit there and draw my icon patterns in the coffee shop and the shop manager was thankful for my being there and doing my work there! If you are reading this and you feel that no one notices the art work that you are creating, you can be confident that as long as you are creating your work and putting it in places where people can see it, that people are indeed noticing your work and are most probably being blessed by it! If you are struggling with a reason to continue the sometimes tiring process of being creative, I can’t think of a better reason. Yes, people see your work! Yes, people are thankful for your work! Yes, people are inspired by your work! Yes, you should never stop doing your work because you never know who you will bless with it!!!

My second observation is also iconography related, and related to the first point. As I noted above, I had to take the last 3+ years off from the process of painting icons. However, this does not mean that I was not creating art during this time. On the contrary, I was creating quite a bit of art over the past three years and working in styles and techniques which I had never done so before. In the past three years I have worked in drawing people’s portraits (though by no means fine art portraits), worked with figure drawing, painting abstract paintings using a number of different techniques, and worked with abstract drawings as well. I even managed to draw quite a few single frame comics! Even though I was not painting icons, I was still rather productive as an artist! My artist friend Rhoda had kept saying to me that she could not wait to see how all of this productivity and growth in my work would effect my skills in iconography once I got back to painting again. And she was right. The time off from painting icons allowed me to seriously sharpen my drawing skills as well as my confidence in my drawing skills. I was not aware of this until yesterday morning when I was sitting in the coffee shop drawing the patterns of the two icons which are the second half of the commission. What was once a serious weakness and fear in my work, drawing the base drawing for an icon, was now not only something that I found easy but also enjoyable!

There is a serious lesson to be learned here, and one which has actually repeated itself throughout the history of mankind. When you find yourself in a desert or a place where you feel that you are not being productive, do not lose hope. I was in a desert when it came to the painting of icons, but it was not an unproductive desert. Rather it was actually a very productive desert, one where I was being forced to grow and stretch my skills as an artist while I allowed my soul to heal from the destruction and devastation which I had just gone through. While I was in this desert I learned a great many things, and also found that I had a great many artist friends who were very supportive and encouraging of me. These friends never let me lose hope. Thus when I came out the desert I found that my life and my skills as an artist were enriched by this desert! Imagine that! If you had told me in 2014 that I would be a much better person and artist a mere 5 years later for what I was about to go through I would have laughed at you. You may find yourself in the same situation where I was, where you are currently unable to do the very art that you love. I encourage you to never give up hope and to never stop growing as a person. You never know when the trials that you are going through will reap immense rewards in your creativity and art! And that is a great reason to say: Glory to thee, O Lord! Glory to thee!